Today is the seventh day of the Chinese Lunar New Year, which is commonly known as the 人日. Chinese New Year has always been a time of traditions and new beginnings, and as I grow older and in knowledge, this period of celebrating a new year has been a time of reminders and appreciation of how our Chinese traditions have survived the times and how the values and traditions taught has been upheld and appreciated through the times.
For example, the idea of "in comes the new, out goes the old" comes to mind when we begin to prepare ourselves for the lunar new year. This spring cleaning is a timely reminder not just to tidy and discard old, unused items lying around in the house, but it spells a good discipline for the many of us who hog items in our possessions, whether by choice or ignorance, to discard them for good. Or, to the many of us who often find ourselves giving excuses for failing to tidy our spaces and clear the layer of dust accumulated through the weeks and months.
On the eve of the lunar new year, we have the custom of having the reunion dinner with every family member of the household together. Some have even extended this to strangers or to extended family members, and none is lost but all is gained when more gathered around the dining table for a sumptuous meal together. In today's world, times such as this is rare and more intentional efforts are needed to make this happen where we are conveniently placed in our own time and space.
Chinese new year is never the same without the giving of ang pows, or red packets. Some, like my family, practise the giving of ang pows on the eve of the Chinese new year after the reunion dinner. More than often, the child gives the elder an ang pow with a word of blessings. At times like this, I am reminded of how essential it is to speak words of blessings to each other than curses, complaints or disgruntles. After all, we are often daily plagued with cries of distress and help, and comforting words like such couldn't come any more assuring to tide us through the trying moments.
The spirit of giving ang pows encourages generosity as well. Our world today centres much on ourselves, our needs and our convenience, and it helps us much today to learn to give and to give cheerfully. A wise man once said that we won't know how much money holds us until we learn to give money away willingly. Learning to give ang pows also teaches us well to manage our finances well and to plan for rainy days the same way we plan and set aside a sum of money for ang pows.
One common theme during the Chinese new year is centred around the idea of respect to our elders. I find this a good gentle reminder, especially when we've come to realize that respect is not only deservedly earned but also given freely, regardless of what the particular elder has done or committed in the past. Our respect to them is thus based on the basic respect of giving honour to the person and not on the character, integrity or merits of the person.
One other encouraging theme during this festive season which I had gleaned upon is also the opportunity that it gives to family times. As a young boy, I often was left alone except for house visiting and the like. But as I watched the news and observed what other families did during this season, many has chosen to spend family times together, more than house visitations alone--strolling down Chinatown streets, watching a movie, or even watching TV together, etc. Moments like these are precious, and it adds to the mood of this festive season.
A multi-racial Singapore and ever growing multi-national society has been rapidly changing through the years. When we were younger, far fewer shops were opened saved for those ran by our Muslim and Hindu friends. Nowadays, almost all fast food chain outlets were opened during the Chinese new year period. Yet, the challenge remains for us to keep our traditions alive and uphold values that will set for us a good foundation for an ever changing society.
A Chinese New Year Eve Post
It has been exactly one month since my last post. Several things has happened since then, and it would be too long to list every event that might have taken place. In fact, I found myself tired out pretty quickly in the past month and I am rather looking forward to this Chinese New Year break to recuperate and have a good rest.
Working Overtime
A couple of weeks back, my regular routine of work took a turn with meetings that overran into the evening times, and that made me really miserable and unhappy. I am usually not particular about over time work or the extra load of work given me, but most of these late meetings were pretty unreasonable. For instance, just last week I was called to have a meeting off site with my boss and another colleague, and my boss only called me up at 5.57pm, just 3 minutes short of the official knock off timing.
To add to matters, I did not think that it was an important meeting that needed to be convened at such late hour (which ended nearly 8pm). But such is the character of my boss, and we all colleagues knew he can be particularly unreasonable when he calls for a meeting regardless of the time and regardless of our whereabouts--he would want us to be back at the meeting at the time he set. This, particularly, has been everyone's grumblings about him.
There is another nasty side to him in addition. He did not seem to posses the etiquette nor the common sense to know when we are rushing for a particular work to be done. Just two days ago, I had to begin working on the payroll so that we can finish off being the Company's closed for the break today, and usually I take two full days to fully complete the payroll. Yet he could ask me to run an errand for him and attend a meeting with him that wasted three hours of the usual 9-hour work day. It's baffling sometimes.
A Minor Car Hit and Flat Tyres
Some weeks back, as a result of the overtime work and the sleepy head, there was a morning where I reversed my car and I took a hit at the column which result in a broken rear right backlight bracket and visible bumper scratches. It was heart breaking for me as I usually don't commit to such careless mistakes (except for the first year of driving where I sustained a couple of hits on my car).
The remedy was a $150.00 damage repair to my backlight bracket in fear of water retention which could potentially cause a more serious electrical damage.
However, just last Saturday, while on the way to my in-laws place for an early reunion dinner, I ran into a flat tyre. My rear left tyre decided to give up after I had pumped air into all four tyres in the morning. I called up my usual car workshop and they immediately sent a mechanic and a tow truck (just in case) to examine my car.
Curiously, the flat tyre could be inflated and did not show signs of a punctured wound. However, as a measure of safety, the mechanic changed the tyre out to the spare tyre and instructed me to head to their workshop the following day while driving the car at 70km/hr or less. To be pretty honest, I was quite taken shock by this and was hapless for a while.
The following day, I drove the car to the workshop and had all four tyres replaced for $400.00. It was another setback for my wallet but it was needed. Nonetheless, Iris and I were thankfully that we did not had the puncture halfway on the expressway or elsewhere that might inconvenient us. And we were reminded not to take things for granted and especially where evil forces might try us, the more we should be more prayerful.
A Valentine's Gift(s)
Valentine's Day was just four days ago. Now into our third year of marriage, we are not so much into the buzz but presents and gifts we are not often short of giving.
A couple of weeks before Valentine's Day, I surprised Iris with a Samsung Galaxy Tab S LTE which she had been looking at. That was out of the blue and at no special occasion, which made this gift a bit more special. However, the Samsung Galaxy Tab S being an Android, Iris is still trying to familiarize herself with the new toy after being so comfortable with Apple products. So we shall see how it goes in a few weeks more.
Nonetheless, a small present during the special Valentine's Day makes it special, no matter what. One of those days before Valentine's Day, I made a trip down to Lemon Chiffon after work and got for Iris a pearl necklace and surprised her on the Friday evening. I am usually not very good with words and I know Iris' love language is primarily, well, almost everything from words, touch... to gifts. Well, she was quite taken aback and I was silently pleased that my wife enjoyed her present, even though I didn't quite have any present(s) myself saved for an ukulele guitar which I bought the day I discovered my flat tyre.
Sometimes I am reminded not to take things for granted, even in our marriage. Sometimes I find that in a marriage there are many components for it to succeed. You need both parties to trust each other. You need both parties to play their roles and be responsible as matured adults. You need both parties to forgive and let go of the unhappy past. So there are so much more that we can never say we are there already!
Working Overtime
A couple of weeks back, my regular routine of work took a turn with meetings that overran into the evening times, and that made me really miserable and unhappy. I am usually not particular about over time work or the extra load of work given me, but most of these late meetings were pretty unreasonable. For instance, just last week I was called to have a meeting off site with my boss and another colleague, and my boss only called me up at 5.57pm, just 3 minutes short of the official knock off timing.
To add to matters, I did not think that it was an important meeting that needed to be convened at such late hour (which ended nearly 8pm). But such is the character of my boss, and we all colleagues knew he can be particularly unreasonable when he calls for a meeting regardless of the time and regardless of our whereabouts--he would want us to be back at the meeting at the time he set. This, particularly, has been everyone's grumblings about him.
There is another nasty side to him in addition. He did not seem to posses the etiquette nor the common sense to know when we are rushing for a particular work to be done. Just two days ago, I had to begin working on the payroll so that we can finish off being the Company's closed for the break today, and usually I take two full days to fully complete the payroll. Yet he could ask me to run an errand for him and attend a meeting with him that wasted three hours of the usual 9-hour work day. It's baffling sometimes.
A Minor Car Hit and Flat Tyres
Some weeks back, as a result of the overtime work and the sleepy head, there was a morning where I reversed my car and I took a hit at the column which result in a broken rear right backlight bracket and visible bumper scratches. It was heart breaking for me as I usually don't commit to such careless mistakes (except for the first year of driving where I sustained a couple of hits on my car).
The remedy was a $150.00 damage repair to my backlight bracket in fear of water retention which could potentially cause a more serious electrical damage.
However, just last Saturday, while on the way to my in-laws place for an early reunion dinner, I ran into a flat tyre. My rear left tyre decided to give up after I had pumped air into all four tyres in the morning. I called up my usual car workshop and they immediately sent a mechanic and a tow truck (just in case) to examine my car.
Curiously, the flat tyre could be inflated and did not show signs of a punctured wound. However, as a measure of safety, the mechanic changed the tyre out to the spare tyre and instructed me to head to their workshop the following day while driving the car at 70km/hr or less. To be pretty honest, I was quite taken shock by this and was hapless for a while.
The following day, I drove the car to the workshop and had all four tyres replaced for $400.00. It was another setback for my wallet but it was needed. Nonetheless, Iris and I were thankfully that we did not had the puncture halfway on the expressway or elsewhere that might inconvenient us. And we were reminded not to take things for granted and especially where evil forces might try us, the more we should be more prayerful.
A Valentine's Gift(s)
Valentine's Day was just four days ago. Now into our third year of marriage, we are not so much into the buzz but presents and gifts we are not often short of giving.
A couple of weeks before Valentine's Day, I surprised Iris with a Samsung Galaxy Tab S LTE which she had been looking at. That was out of the blue and at no special occasion, which made this gift a bit more special. However, the Samsung Galaxy Tab S being an Android, Iris is still trying to familiarize herself with the new toy after being so comfortable with Apple products. So we shall see how it goes in a few weeks more.
Nonetheless, a small present during the special Valentine's Day makes it special, no matter what. One of those days before Valentine's Day, I made a trip down to Lemon Chiffon after work and got for Iris a pearl necklace and surprised her on the Friday evening. I am usually not very good with words and I know Iris' love language is primarily, well, almost everything from words, touch... to gifts. Well, she was quite taken aback and I was silently pleased that my wife enjoyed her present, even though I didn't quite have any present(s) myself saved for an ukulele guitar which I bought the day I discovered my flat tyre.
Sometimes I am reminded not to take things for granted, even in our marriage. Sometimes I find that in a marriage there are many components for it to succeed. You need both parties to trust each other. You need both parties to play their roles and be responsible as matured adults. You need both parties to forgive and let go of the unhappy past. So there are so much more that we can never say we are there already!
A Concert Held at the Grand Ballroom Saved Only by an Excellent Showmanship
Just last night, Iris and I went for the Michael Buble concert at Marina Bay Sands Grand Ballroom. It was a concert that Iris was excitedly anticipated and eager to watch since the announcement last year and so we bought the tickets at the MBS ticketing booth while attending the Child Aid concert last year. The tickets were priced rather high, and we bought the middle-ranged tickets at $292.00 per person, and we were promised that the tickets would be mailed to us as a commemorative gift.
Little did we expected that the tickets were mailed to us via registered post and it was only an ordinary envelope with the tickets together with the receipt. That was a huge letdown and a great disappointment, and MBS certainly could improve on that--they could at least send them in a classy envelope or include a commemorative post card with Buble's signature (it would be fine even if we knew that the message would be photocopied).
On the actual day, we were further infuriated to realize that the concert was to be held at the Sands Grand Ballroom instead of the theatre hall. Initially, we had walked to the MBS theatre, only to be directed to the ballroom wings which was at the other end. We were beginning to feel disappointed as we knew that the expectations of the concert was about to fall off from the roof of our heads.
True enough, we were directed to a couple of levels up to the Grand Ballroom, and walked close to another hundred metre before we reached the entrance. There were plenty of ushers and marshalls, and the security checks were smooth. However, we were upset upon seeing the make-shift concert hall:
Iris and I could not helped but memories of Michael Buble's previous concert at the Esplanade was a much better event. Furthermore, the sound acoustics, the viewing angle, and the layout of the venue was in comparison a markdown score considering the heftier ticket prices we had paid for it. To add to matters, they had allowed food and drinks in the ballroom and as well as kids.
A family of three in front of us had a kid who was on the iPad, iPhone and other electronic gadgets while the parents were watching the concert--who would pay that much extra for the kid to come only to be entertained by his own gadgets? It would have been far better to hire a baby seater to take care of your 10-year-old boy instead of bringing him to the concert and bothering the father every once in a while.
The 40-year-old man beside me, meanwhile, ate his chips furiously as if he had not had chips for a hundred years. He finished it off with a bar of Twirl which made him smelled like vomit throughout the show, and it was tormenting affair to be seated beside him--no joke!
I could only hope that my next concert at Marina Bay Sands--the musicial "Cats"--would be a much better experience for me. Meanwhile, going to concerts and musicals are burning a big hole in my pockets so I would be giving Christina Perri, Meghan Trainor and a few other artistes a miss (unless a sponsor comes along!).
On the actual day, we were further infuriated to realize that the concert was to be held at the Sands Grand Ballroom instead of the theatre hall. Initially, we had walked to the MBS theatre, only to be directed to the ballroom wings which was at the other end. We were beginning to feel disappointed as we knew that the expectations of the concert was about to fall off from the roof of our heads.
True enough, we were directed to a couple of levels up to the Grand Ballroom, and walked close to another hundred metre before we reached the entrance. There were plenty of ushers and marshalls, and the security checks were smooth. However, we were upset upon seeing the make-shift concert hall:
- Raised platforms that spilled beyond the walls of the ballroom.
- Ballroom chairs which are usually seen at banquets.
- Cable-tied numbering on the seats.
- Poor arrangements of chairs (our row was arranged 15-20 seats with only one entry/exit point on the right side only).
- Poor layout of the entire concert hall (with our tickets priced mid-range, we were disappointed to find that the passage way one row in front of us was leading to the outside, which totally disrupted our views with the frequent in/out of the concert-goers).
Our experience was dwindling further in disappointment when the group, Naturally 7, came on at around 8pm to perform onstage, taking about 45 minutes in total. When Michael Buble finally came on, it was five minutes to 9pm. The show was only saved by Buble's showmanship, and he totally blew the audience away with his singing. The other saving points included:
- An excellent stage set up with moving platforms.
- A 3-part centre piece tilting platform that was a spectacular backdrop and props to Buble's dancing skills.
- A majestic stage-wide LED screen that showcased spectacular backdrop images.
- Ample projection lighting on stage.
- 2 sets of line-arrayed projection speakers.
Naturally, the projected sound wasn't as good as it could be, as the ballroom was not acoustically tuned for such events. Michael Buble was perspiring so much at one point, he joked that he would donate back the earnings to the air conditioning system. (But who could blame him as the central A/C could not particular cool down the stage area with those hot, glaring spotlights.)
Iris and I could not helped but memories of Michael Buble's previous concert at the Esplanade was a much better event. Furthermore, the sound acoustics, the viewing angle, and the layout of the venue was in comparison a markdown score considering the heftier ticket prices we had paid for it. To add to matters, they had allowed food and drinks in the ballroom and as well as kids.
A family of three in front of us had a kid who was on the iPad, iPhone and other electronic gadgets while the parents were watching the concert--who would pay that much extra for the kid to come only to be entertained by his own gadgets? It would have been far better to hire a baby seater to take care of your 10-year-old boy instead of bringing him to the concert and bothering the father every once in a while.
The 40-year-old man beside me, meanwhile, ate his chips furiously as if he had not had chips for a hundred years. He finished it off with a bar of Twirl which made him smelled like vomit throughout the show, and it was tormenting affair to be seated beside him--no joke!
I could only hope that my next concert at Marina Bay Sands--the musicial "Cats"--would be a much better experience for me. Meanwhile, going to concerts and musicals are burning a big hole in my pockets so I would be giving Christina Perri, Meghan Trainor and a few other artistes a miss (unless a sponsor comes along!).
Working Hard On Your Resolutions
2015 has began for more than a week now, and Iris and I are already struggling to keep majority of our new year resolutions intact, such as the daily routine of making our beds, or keeping things neat and tidy in the house.
Such are the struggles of people who set new year resolutions, and we hope to believe that we are not the only ones. Surely not an excuse? Yes it's not.
I've come to realize that keeping a resolution going through the year is a big challenge, and that's where in the past week I had been pondering on 90-day long resolutions instead of lengthy year-long resolutions. Why so?
Having said that, first and foremost, I find myself having to battle a few personal disciplines first:
So I am going to tackle all these and being working out my resolutions. No excuses, no more procrastination and delays.
Such are the struggles of people who set new year resolutions, and we hope to believe that we are not the only ones. Surely not an excuse? Yes it's not.
I've come to realize that keeping a resolution going through the year is a big challenge, and that's where in the past week I had been pondering on 90-day long resolutions instead of lengthy year-long resolutions. Why so?
- Some year-long goals are better replaced by progressive 90-day goals. For example, if staying fit is your goal, then you can begin by light weekly exercises for a start. Progressively over time, you can increase the frequency to twice a week run or increase the intensity of your training.
- 90-day goals make you feel accomplished and motivated. As with the previous example, your stage-one 90-day goal are more "bite-sized" for you to finish and complete them, and that will give you a big morale boost to work them out.
- 90-day goals may be better for your own health. Sometimes we have to decide if a shorter-term goal is better suited for us instead of year-long ones. For example, if you plan to do a marathon, 90-day goals will help to plan your training properly to minimize any physical injuries.
In shorter words, 90-day goals are hugely customizable and more realistic. "One size fits all" works less wonderful with a customized 90-day plan, and there are more benefits to it than in theory when worked out.
Having said that, first and foremost, I find myself having to battle a few personal disciplines first:
- Self Discipline. This is a huge personal concern, as I often opt for other 'activities' rather than to get to the real business.
- Procrastination. This is another excuse I give myself, especially when sometimes you have the luxury of time and yet chose not to do it.
- Attitude. This is something rather lacking, as with a good attitude you can get done your goals and plan in a shorter amount of time.
So I am going to tackle all these and being working out my resolutions. No excuses, no more procrastination and delays.
New Year, New Resolutions
When I was in youth ministry in my previous church, we never fail to get the youths to do up a brief reflections of the past year and doing up a resolution list for the new year. Some youths frown at the annual routine exercise of the year, while some eagerly anticipate the quiet 'stock take' opportunity of their lives in the year.
Just how good and helpful are resolutions and how do we set for ourselves a good resolution? More importantly, how do we keep our resolutions and work them out through the year? (Read an interesting article on why resolutions are so hard to follow here.)
I cannot help but insist that resolutions and goals are indefinitely helpful and essential to our personal growth and development if we set good and achievable goals.
While we set the youths to take time to reflect upon their year, we often draft up and categorize their lives into different parts, such as physical, spiritual, social and family, and studies. We find that by categorizing into these simple and brief domains of their lives, it becomes easier for them to set goals for themselves. For example, for physical they may set a goal of a weekly exercise. For spiritual, they may set a goal of reaching out to a friend, or attending church weekly. For social and family, they may want to spend more time with their parents, or more time with a socially-outcast friend. For studies, they may simply aim to get a certain grade for a struggling subject, and so on.
We often have leaders to guide them along and have them duplicate a copy of their goals to their CG leaders for accountability's sake. And together as a CG, we have the CG leader to set cell group goals as a common benchmark for the members to work together and reach their goals.
To help everyone along, we instructed them to set SMART goals, which essentially stands for:
- Specific: it mustn't be too general, and often asking yourselves the 6 'W's (Who, Where, What, When, Which, and Why) will help to streamline your goals to a more specific one. For example, to get into shape would be a general goal, whereas to join a gym and workout two times a week would be a specific goal.
- Measurable: your goals must be measurable, or in other words have a basic criteria of measurement. This will help you break up your goals to small bits so as to help you work towards your end goal. For example, if the goal is to run a full marathon, it will be helpful to break it up into bite-size, such as to attempt first a 6km run, and subsequently a 12km, a 18km, and so on.
- Achievable: your goals must also be within reach and realistic. For example, one can be ambitious and set a goal to reach the moon. But while doing so he or she might have forgotten to ask if the required attitudes, abilities, skills and financial capacity to accomplish the goal is within the required reach.
- Relevant: goals must be personal and relevant to your self. For example, it would be meaningless to set a goal of walking the dog if we fail to realize that it is a need for the dog and not for ourselves, and neither is it relevant to set a goal to be closer to your own dog when it does not achieve a certain purpose.
- Time-bound: usually we set yearly goals, which inadvertently determines a year-long time frame to accomplish the goal. A common misconception is that goals are to be limited to a year, however that need not to be the case. For example, for a youth to get into shape it may not require a full year but six months instead. Hence, our goals can be a 6-month goal, or a 90-days goal, which can be more achievable and realistic.
Recently there was an article on why 90-day goals are better than year-long ones. Read more on the article here.
This sums up how and what kind of goals we encourage our youths to set up for themselves, and you can likewise do the same.
So, what new year resolutions and goals have you set for yourselves in 2015?
Just how good and helpful are resolutions and how do we set for ourselves a good resolution? More importantly, how do we keep our resolutions and work them out through the year? (Read an interesting article on why resolutions are so hard to follow here.)
I cannot help but insist that resolutions and goals are indefinitely helpful and essential to our personal growth and development if we set good and achievable goals.
While we set the youths to take time to reflect upon their year, we often draft up and categorize their lives into different parts, such as physical, spiritual, social and family, and studies. We find that by categorizing into these simple and brief domains of their lives, it becomes easier for them to set goals for themselves. For example, for physical they may set a goal of a weekly exercise. For spiritual, they may set a goal of reaching out to a friend, or attending church weekly. For social and family, they may want to spend more time with their parents, or more time with a socially-outcast friend. For studies, they may simply aim to get a certain grade for a struggling subject, and so on.
We often have leaders to guide them along and have them duplicate a copy of their goals to their CG leaders for accountability's sake. And together as a CG, we have the CG leader to set cell group goals as a common benchmark for the members to work together and reach their goals.
To help everyone along, we instructed them to set SMART goals, which essentially stands for:
- Specific: it mustn't be too general, and often asking yourselves the 6 'W's (Who, Where, What, When, Which, and Why) will help to streamline your goals to a more specific one. For example, to get into shape would be a general goal, whereas to join a gym and workout two times a week would be a specific goal.
- Measurable: your goals must be measurable, or in other words have a basic criteria of measurement. This will help you break up your goals to small bits so as to help you work towards your end goal. For example, if the goal is to run a full marathon, it will be helpful to break it up into bite-size, such as to attempt first a 6km run, and subsequently a 12km, a 18km, and so on.
- Achievable: your goals must also be within reach and realistic. For example, one can be ambitious and set a goal to reach the moon. But while doing so he or she might have forgotten to ask if the required attitudes, abilities, skills and financial capacity to accomplish the goal is within the required reach.
- Relevant: goals must be personal and relevant to your self. For example, it would be meaningless to set a goal of walking the dog if we fail to realize that it is a need for the dog and not for ourselves, and neither is it relevant to set a goal to be closer to your own dog when it does not achieve a certain purpose.
- Time-bound: usually we set yearly goals, which inadvertently determines a year-long time frame to accomplish the goal. A common misconception is that goals are to be limited to a year, however that need not to be the case. For example, for a youth to get into shape it may not require a full year but six months instead. Hence, our goals can be a 6-month goal, or a 90-days goal, which can be more achievable and realistic.
Recently there was an article on why 90-day goals are better than year-long ones. Read more on the article here.
This sums up how and what kind of goals we encourage our youths to set up for themselves, and you can likewise do the same.
So, what new year resolutions and goals have you set for yourselves in 2015?
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